Presentable Leisurewear

If my life were a video game, then I would have just leveled up from the pajamas level to the nearly presentable leisurewear level.

Look up. Today’s clouds are the sky’s continents.

Dizziness. Exhaustion. Problems with word recall. General brain fog. This is what I get for leaving the house.

I love my body in the long shadows of evening light.

God and Satan both appeared in my dreams last night. God was being aloof, and Satan was pretending to be God.

God is a slight wind through a cracked door.

There are no shades of gray because gray is a tone, not a shade.

Next week, I have to take two stool specimens to my gastroenterologist for analysis. I’m going to label the specimen bag “A Tale of Two Shitties.”

My medical conditions are not a death sentence. They’re a life sentence.

Today, I stooped to a new low. I used a Facebook sticker as a weapon. Do not follow me into that darkness.

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Facebook posts from January 30–February 21, 2015.

2 thoughts on “Presentable Leisurewear”

    1. … turds, it was the worst of turds, it was the age of waste, it was the age of fasting, it was the epoch of bloat, it was the epoch of indigestion, it was the season of laxatives, it was the season of fiber, it was the spring of H. pylori, it was the winter of C. diff, we had every turd before us, we had no turd before us, we were all going direct to toilets, we were all going direct to Porta-Potties.

      There. I completed the thought for you. Someone had to.

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